Last week Cory and I drove his packed 2000 Toyota Camry from Houston to Phoenix. We said goodbye to trees and lush green landscapes and hello to mountains and lots of brown. This was his new home. We spent time setting up his new place and checking out the area. I took him grocery shopping and gave him cash and instructions to get what he would need for the week. He did just fine. He didn't need me.
Leaving Cory in Arizona was harder than I ever thought it would be. I felt like I was missing part of my body, I ached. My body misses his body. I wept knowing he wouldn't get hugs. Cory is a hugger and with two huggy parents and three snuggly sisters in the house he is used to lots of physical touch.
Across the isle from me on the plane ride home was a Mama traveling with two children. Her curly headed boy slept with his head in her lap clutching a tattered bunny. With blurry tear filled eyes I could see my curly headed boy clutching his very well loved Elmo. I was jealous. At that moment I would have given anything to go back 16 years and snuggle with my curly headed boy.
This is why teenagers drive their parents nuts, so the parents are ready for them to leave. Cory didn't drive me nuts.
It is time though. He is ready. Every day does get a little bit easier. I've come a long way from the hyperventilating panic attack in the ice cream isle of the grocery store a week ago. We will both be fine. It's just hard to cut those apron strings, nobody teaches you how.