I am a slow runner, this is the box I have put myself in. This box is better than the ‘you can’t do that’ box I was put in years ago. This box has lots of room and is comfortable. I look at other people in their boxes that are a bit smaller and sleeker but I tell myself that I won’t fit in the smaller, faster box. I will feel pressure in that box. But the women in those boxes aren’t that different from me. Some are shorter, thinner which makes their box a tiny bit easier to live in but there are also women who are taller and weigh more than I do getting along just fine in smaller boxes.
For years I was told I couldn’t do this. Then I started doing it. I told myself I could, my husband told me I could and I did it, I really did. But what now? I have a triathlon coach with the best disposition known to man. When I was training for my Half Ironman he doubted me. He didn’t doubt me as a person but with my injuries and lack of run training he wanted me to wait, he didn’t want me to hurt myself. I’m not a waiting kind of girl. I used that doubt on many a long bike ride and on some of my very hot runs. I’ll show him!
My coach writes up my workouts. In life I am not a good little sheep, I do not do as I am told. When it comes to triathlon and my coach I am a pretty good sheep. He writes it, I do it. I don’t usually look at my workouts before I have to, I guess I like the surprise and spontaneity of looking and then doing. The other day I looked at a run workout and the target speed wasn’t anything I had ever done for more than a few minutes. My first feeling was confusion then I got angry. WHY would he tell me to do something I CAN’T do? As if this is personal. I sent him an e-mail and a text demanding an explanation. This is where his perfect coach disposition comes out. He simply told me to do what I can and then even told me to make it a moderate run.
I went for my run and found myself pushing for the original numbers I thought unattainable. I realized during this run I had gone from ‘you can’t do this’ to ‘you can do this’ to ‘I expect you to do this.’ I wasn’t raised with much in the way of expectations so this is somewhat new to me. I think my coach is sending me an eviction notice from my big comfy slow box.